Oreosoma pacificum

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You: This is hot f'shizzle
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You: You'll never guess what it is
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Stranger: what its it
You: But you'll never guess
Stranger: fuck u
Stranger: what is it
You: It's....
Stranger: ...................
Stranger: wutwutwutwutwut
You: ...the Ox-eyed false jelly (Oreosoma pacificum)
Stranger: uhh
You: it's a fish
You: completely translucent
You: almost impossible to see when in the water
You: but it's covered with hard, sharp conical protuberances
Stranger: this is on xbox right
You: A pelagic fish, often forming barely-perceptible schools
You: While technically omnivorous, the Ox-eyed false jelly's core diet consists of larger fishes who unluckily (and often unwittingly) swallow it whole.
Stranger: wtf
You: The Ox-eyed false jelly's jagged casing is guaranteed to tear up even the toughest insides -- including a shark's.
Stranger: swallow.. yeah
Stranger: more
You: With its merciless exterior doing most of the work, the Ox-eyed false jelly feeds on its devourer with a relatively unexceptional set of jaws and teeth.
You: It is only easily visible for a short time after feeding.
Stranger: um
You: yeah buddy
You: That was hot
Stranger: ok who r u
You: I'm four years old
You: I have nose hairs

You: I don't exist

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